Why I am a gender abolitionist.

Gender Critical thinking goes thus:

  • Gender isn’t real because masculinity and femininity are merely traits expressed by both sexes
  • We live in a world that codifies male as masculine, and female as feminine but gender is socially constructed
  • Transition- lots of differing opinions there-in, but it largely isn’t ideal and has the potential to uphold socially conservative standards about gender as it upholds the idea of male=masculine, female=feminine
  • We should really seek to rid the world of these onerous expectations.

So what would a desire to live as the opposite sex look like in a world that didn’t expect anything of anyone based on their sexual characteristics? Would gender dysphoria even exist? I genuinely don’t know but increasingly GD looks to me like a socially induced nightmare and these expectations look like a form of mental slavery. Not just for trans people, but for literally nearly everyone I’ve spoken to on the topic. Many of them pretend. The pretence for some is unbearable (trans)- and I am also noticing a reoccuring pattern: a good number of trans people pretransition pretend really really hard before they transition. They engage in a sort of hyper-performance of their birth gender in order to fit in- having nothing of themselves to go with, they just use stereotypes. I, on the otherhand, was always somewhat mouthy and rebellious. Those who of us who do not conform are frequently the subject of a lot of bullying.

What is gender dysphoria? The social aspect is this: hundreds and thousands of gendered moments that make you feel like “some sort of mistake must have been made at my birth”. You are masculine and thus you should have been born male, what the heck happened? Why is your life like this? What sort of sick God creates people like you? Are you demon spawn from hell?

The bodily aspect is this: as a child I presumed the mistake would be corrected when I grew into one of those weird teenager things, and then that didn’t happen and that was hell. What weird messed up joke is this? Was I Hitler in a past life? Answers on a post-card please.

As a teen- I once trapped a spider in a jar and tortured it. I am not proud of this and it is also stage 1 of becoming a serial killer- but it did give me some insight into what I felt like God must have been doing with my life.

Would I have felt that way if boy and girl were nurtured in such a way that neither was treated any differently, but rather people were excited to see who their children would become instead of having various expectations about what they would become. Maybe, maybe not.

I’d like to find out. But I wish I hadn’t discovered gender critical thinking because it looks very much like the entire thing was a socially induced nightmare that could well disappear if we let people be people, let clothes be clothes and let toys be toys.

We are fast approaching that world and some people find it really threatening. I want to build that world, because if the entire thing is socially induced then as people we can socially construct the world in a different less damaging manner.

From what I can see trans people are playing out their dysphoria on a societal level. Each sex is treated differently and for some of us that makes us wish we were the other. And then we really deeply begin to believe that we are- but what we appear to be doing is severely damaging. We may have been damaged ourselves but it is no excuse- societal wide biology denial isn’t very healthy.

The pain of being smushed into boxes we don’t fit, being chastised for not fitting those boxes properly when great efforts have been made or worse- fitting them really well but the performance making you deeply hate yourself and your life and God. To push through that and the dysphoria it causes and the depression and all manner of other things to say “I’m a man, now leave me alone, piss off with your damaging expectations”. This feels like freedom. What if real freedom was no boxes? Even if the new box fits perfectly and even if the old box nearly killed you- gender was the cause of your gender dysphoria, it can not be the solution to it.

So the question we trans need to ask the world is this: you can have sex (biologically grounded) or you can have gender (religious fictional bollocks) but you can not have both- and right now it looks very much like you can not have either.

Personally I favour preserving sex over gender, because sex is a biologically grounded material reality whereas gender isn’t.

About rhysmckavblog

"He went like one that hath been stunned and is of sense forlorn, a sadder and a wiser man, he rose the morrow morn." - Samuel Taylor Coleridge
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